Rita: Karl, can you tell us what you see?
Photo by Sean Kerrick Sullivan, Courtesy of The Canyons Resort
Karl: There appears to be a crowd amassed around a large pond high up at the resort. The pond looks to be about 100-feet long and considering it is early spring, we can only assume that the water would cause major shrinkage and serious high-beams. The pilot is going to attempt to land near the site so I can get a closer look at this strange event.
Rita: You heard it here first folks. There is some kind of gathering around a small body of what appears to be ridiculously cold water. What can you tell us Karl?
Karl: I’ve just breached the outer perimeter of the crowd, and what I’m witnessing is completely inconceivable, Rita. The group appears to be a mix of adults and children; most of the adults appear to be consuming some sort of ritualistic drink. This is obviously some sort of cult. It seems possible that the group might be preparing for a catastrophic event, what some refer to as “the end of days.” I don’t want to jump to conclusions at this time, but judging by the glazed look in their eyes, it’s probably a good idea to call your loved ones because it may very well be the last time you speak to them.
Rita: Are you in any danger right now, Karl?
Photo by Sean Kerrick Sullivan, Courtesy of The Canyons Resort
Karl: No, the crowd seems to be focused primarily on the pond of very cold water. It appears beach balls are also part of this ritual … this is a truly unusual event. Wait, I see some activity at the pond—men, women, and children are hurling themselves one at a time, on skis or snowboards, toward the water.
Even stranger is a man with a microphone hooked up to a PA system luring individuals into the water and congratulating them on taking part in something that will surely lead to hypothermia. This is getting a bit scary now. Rita, I think this is some sort of mass sacrifice. What else could it be?
People are screaming in an eerily joyous frenzy as costumed individuals approach the pond. I just don’t know how else to explain it; no rational, self-preserving person would subject himself or herself to this. I’m now witnessing a group of children tossing what looks to be a half-naked woman into the air. I’m moving in for a closer look … it’s not a real woman at all, Rita, but a life-sized inflatable doll. Oh my, the crowd seems to have noticed me, and a small contingency is approaching.
Rita: OK, Karl, it’s probably best you return to the station for your own safety.
Karl: They look a bit dazed, possibly the effects of the concoction they’re all consuming. Their laughter suggests they don’t wish to harm me, but they must have a real distaste for my attire as they’re now pulling at my clothes and are trying to get me to wear a sombrero. Uh, I’m not sure what to do now. They’ve just attached a fake mustache to my upper lip and are forcing ski boots onto my feet. The crowd has started chanting some unintelligible incantation. I’m not positive, but the revelers seem to expect me to now sacrifice myself in the frigid waters. The crowd is becoming much more aggressive, although excessively overjoyed, and many are now coercing me to consume their ritualistic drink. Rita, please tell my wife I lov…….
Rita: Karl, can you hear me? Karl? It appears we’ve lost the feed.
Photo by Sean Kerrick Sullivan, Courtesy of The Canyons Resort
Do you have your own springtime rituals at your local hill? Share them with us in the comments section below.
Related Posts:
Tags: resorts, skiing, snowboarding