Common sense can be surprisingly hard to follow in the backcountry. It’s easy to get overly stoked and forget gear, miscalculate the gear that you did bring, ignore the weather, and end up in a bad situation. Check out the following five illustrations and helpful tips.
We’ve all read about tragic backcountry incidents that could have easily been avoided with a little common sense. But honestly, we’ve all made some bad decisions before or during an outdoor adventure because of forgetfulness, impatience, or a simple, unexplained pause in brain activity. The five stories that follow are fictional and perhaps a bit exaggerated, but the takeaways are genuine.
The Wrong Wardrobe
Suzie Softenhoppen headed out for a hike. It was a very hot day. She didn’t bring enough water, and her choice of clothing could have been better (but let’s be honest here; when you have a flipper-suit hanging in your closet, it’s hard to resist). As Suzie hiked, things inside the suit got hot and sweaty. Suzie became completely dehydrated, and she perished.
The Takeaway: wear the right clothing.
On a hot summer hike, lightweight, breathable pants and a wicking shirt help manage sweat, and don’t forget about head cover. A full-on dolphin head is way too much, but a brimmed hat can help prevent skull-burn.
Forecast Fail
Judy Dingelbaum picked up her kayak, paddle, and spray skirt and headed for Ragin’ Cajun, a particularly sticky Class 6 section of whitewater that had been attempted 11 times but never successfully run. In a last-minute oversight, Judy forgot to check the weather. Had she performed this last vital task, she would have seen that the flash drought index was high that day.
Judy braced herself as her tiny craft careened off Stubtoe Falls, the single most intimidating drop in South Finkenflűgel County. And then it happened. Every kayaker’s worst nightmare— flash drought.
The only sound was the whoosh of air over Judy’s unusually large ears as she careened toward the dry shale of the river bed. One EMT said that Judy’s last words were ‘I did it!’ He quickly explained to her that she hadn’t done it, and Judy died.
The Takeaway: check the weather report before you go out.
In many ways, this can be the most important step in preparing for your adventure. The weather affects every facet of your backcountry trip, and it can transform even the most mundane outing into a hell-voyage to the grisly, skeletal clutches of the Grim Reaper himself.
Over-Excited, Under-Prepared
Samantha Dangwanger was super stoked to redpoint her summer project. She was so stoked, in fact, that she dashed off to the crag and forgot her rope, harness, draws, and her climbing partner at home. Undeterred by her somewhat shocking oversight, Samantha attacked the project alone. Unfortunately, an overly curious bird of prey was in the area. Samantha was picked up, taken away, and never heard from again.
The Takeaway: take the time to be safe.
It’s easy to get carried away when you’re excited. If you forget gear, go back and get it, even if it means having to shorten your adventure, change your plans, or reschedule.
Fifth-Grade Gear
Transcript of telephone conversation between Cyrus Kleghorn (deceased) and an unidentified male:
“Cyrus! What’s going on, dude? Hey man, we’re going downhilling at Rinkadong Mountain. You in?”
“No bike, no armor. Sorry bud.”
“We can get you some body armor at Home Depot, and you can use your old bike—just take off the training wheels, man.”
“What about a helmet?”
“Didn’t you used to play football?”
“Yeah, in the 5th grade.”
“Perfect. See you in 5 minutes.”
The Takeaway: never rely on Lady Luck to pull you through.
Tackling a hairball backcountry adventure with obsolete, ill-fitting, or badly worn equipment is a bad idea. The “it won’t happen to me” mindset can be a dangerous one. Invest in suitable gear, or it will happen to you.
Weighed Down
Jenny Janklemeyer knew she needed to bring the right gear for her backpacking trip. After she had packed the necessities, however, things got a little out of hand. She found it awfully hard to resist various last-minute strap-ons (a few extra odds and ends never hurt, right?). Sadly, a few miles in, the weight of the excess brought her down.
The Takeaway: don’t over-pack.
Pack what you need to be safe and prepared, and then just stop. Excess gear means excess weight, and that gets dangerous, whether you’re in the backcountry or out on the water.
Sure, these may seem like elementary takeaways, but how many times have you been unprepared, ignored your better judgment, gone ahead anyway, and been lucky enough to survive? Lions, tigers, and bears aside, the backcountry can be a whole lot safer with just a little preparation, patience, common sense.
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Tags: backcountry tips, humor, outdoor preparation
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I, on the other hand, thought this was really funny. Nothing is worse than flash drought.
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That flipper suit would be awesome for North Country hiking. Black fly proof? No-see-um netting? Where can I get one??
btw…Sands…lighten up…
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Hilarious photos. My favorite line:
One EMT said that Judy’s last words were ‘I did it!’ He quickly explained to her that she hadn’t done it, and Judy died.
It’s pretty easy to blow off another outdoor “tips” article, but I was compelled by the dolphin to read this one. The light-hearted approach draws you in, but still makes the point that even experienced folks can rationalize a silly decision. Thanks!
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On one hand, I sort of agree with “D Sands”- Yes, it is true that “enough dumb stuff really happens in the back country”. People make stupid decisions all the time. But that’s true of every arena of life.
Which brings me to “on the other hand”…
It’s pretty obvious that this was meant to be a HUMOROUS and overly exaggerated look at common sense- and/or the lack of it. So… well… how can I put this nicely?
Lighten up!
And yes, I did think it was funny… in a juvenile sort of way. [giggle giggle]
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