Backcountry Beacon

Climbers tend to cringe whenever they hear climbing mentioned on television. I’m not talking about Cliffhanger reruns either. It seems that every time a story involves climbing (or something the media decides is climbing), the news gets a hold of it and makes all climbers seem like idiots who are risking their lives for thrills. Yeah, they’re probably right. We should just sit on the couch and complain about the people who are still outside. Maybe news coverage wouldn’t be so bad if every hiker who falls off a trail or high-school kid who stole his mom’s clothesline gets labeled as a “very experienced climber.” That kind of stuff makes me want to break a television. Maybe I should buy a TV so I have one to break. These are just a few of my favorite “climbing” stories. Makes me wonder how bad the news screws up the stuff that I don’t know anything about.

Bill O’Reilly talks about “thrill seekers” costing us money

Bill’s claim that he’s “an outdoor guy” would be laughable if it didn’t make you want to throw up in your mouth just a little bit. For a guy who’s all about less government and less regulation (when it comes to making money), he sure is fast to say that there should be heavy regulations on winter climbing. Of course, in standard O’Reilly fashion, he brought on someone he could just walk over (Mike Roberts from Outside magazine in this case) and proceeded to interrupt every sentence. Bill asked him, “Why should I have to pay for somebody else’s thrills while they’re putting themselves in danger?” Why should I have to pay for your war, Bill?

KSL reports on “climbers” saved from American Fork

You would think that a location with so many climbers would have a better chance at identifying actual climbers, but that’s not the case. Utah’s KSL news station broke a story about three people who took a shortcut down from a popular hiking cave and got cliffed out. According to the cops, “They stopped and purchased a 75-foot rope earlier in the day. They cut that rope into three pieces, so all they had was 25-foot ropes.” How does having 25-foot pieces of rope make these people climbers? Video here

Fox News reports on hikers being rescued by a helicopter

OK, this one isn’t too poorly done. It was in fact a hiker, who did in fact fall, and was in fact rescued by a helicopter that did land in a pretty sketchy place. Well done on the accurate reporting! What’s awesome about this one is how excited the reporter is about the dramatic nature of the rescue. Maybe just a little less coffee before the morning broadcast.

Chanel 7 Action News calls Erik Weihenmayer gay

In the words of detective Paul Smecker, “Freud was right.” Hey, blind and gay are pretty much the same thing, right?

First Look (at making a profit from others’ misfortune) with Katie Couric

In an effort to fill 24 hours of programming, Katie Couric put on two episodes of “First Look” where (while talking with her mouth full of chicken from another person’s sandwich) she essentially talks about how to choose the best angle for turning some missing climbers’ struggles into a news story to entertain the masses … not to mention the seriously sketchy chocolate kisses joke. I think it’ll be a long time before I can eat a chicken sandwich without gagging. Go here: Video 1, Video 2

What they’re really saying

This is what I see whenever I watch the news, anyway. The Onion just cuts through all the bull. I wonder what actor would play me if they made a movie about me having some horrendous misadventure? Tom Cruise is almost short enough to play me, but I would find my way out of the woods just to kick his ass if he ends up in one more movie with climbing in it.

Related Posts:

• Gaper-Proof Your Climbing
• Shoulder Season Sending: Tips for climbing in the cold
• Nice Rack II: Put Together Your Climbing Rack

Tags: climbing, humor, media